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What's Your Business Sign?
Instead of Astrological Signs, how about these .. What's Your Business
Sign?
1) MARKETING You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing
degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on
drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job
responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
2) SALES Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without
a degree." You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone
calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact
with customers so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek
admiration for your golf game throughout your life.
3) TECHNOLOGY Unable to control anything in your personal life, you
are instead content to completely control everything that happens at
your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying
but who the hell can tell. It is written that Geeks shall inherit the
Earth.
4) ENGINEERING One of only two signs that actually studied in school.
It is said that engineers place ninety percent of all Personal Ads.
You can be happy with yourself; your office is full of all the latest
"ergodynamic" gadgets. However, we all know what is really causing
your "carpal tunnel syndrome."
5) ACCOUNTING The only other sign that studied in school. You are
mostly immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in
the organization; combined with your extreme organizational traits,
the majority of rumors concerning you say that you are completely
insane.
6) HUMAN RESOURCES Ironically, given your access to confidential
information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the
organization. Possibly the only other person that does less work than
marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you have
to get a haircut, have lunch AND then mail a letter.
7) MANAGEMENT/MIDDLE MANAGEMENT Catty, cutthroat, yet completely
spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest
of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure
your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself.
Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers" as everyone in your
social circle is a "Middle Manager."
8) SENIOR MANAGEMENT (See above - Same sign, different title)
9) CUSTOMER SERVICE Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab
ride from taking your own life. As children very few of you asked your
parents for a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could
pretend to play "Customer Service." Continually passed over for
promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your manager.
10) CONSULTANT Lacking any specific knowledge, you use acronyms to
avoid revealing your utter lack of experience. You have convinced
yourself that your "skills" are in demand and that you could get a
higher paying job with any other organization in a heartbeat. You will
spend an eternity contemplating these career opportunities without
ever taking direct action.
11) RECRUITER, "HEADHUNTER" As a "person" that profits from the
success of others, most people who actually work for a living disdain
you. Paid on commission and susceptible to alcoholism, your ulcers and
frequent heart attacks correspond directly with fluctuations in the
stock market.
12) PARTNER, PRESIDENT, CEO You are brilliant or lucky. Your inability
to figure out complex systems such as the fax machine suggest the
latter.
13) GOVERNMENT WORKER Paid to take days off. Government workers are
genius inventors, like the invention of new Holidays. They usually
suffer from deep depression or anxiety and usually commit serious
crimes while on the job...Thus the term "GO POSTAL"
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