Golf Jokes

A young minister and an elderly parishoner were playing golf. The minister's game was off and the old man was beating him badly.
At the end of the game, the old man tried to console his minister by saying, "don't worry, Reverend. One of these days you'll be burying me."
"Yes," said the minister, "but even then, it will be your hole!"




One day, a grandpa and his grandson go golfing. The young one is really good and the old one is just giving him tips. They are on hole 8 and there is a tree in the way and the grandpa says, "When I was your age, I would hit the ball right over that tree." So, the grandson hits the ball and it bumps against the tree and lands not to far from where it started. "Of course," added the grandpa, "when I was your age, the tree was only 3 feet tall."




He asked for a putter, then drove three hundred yards onto the green. Then he asked for a driver and drove the ball to within two feet of the cup. Then he asked for a niblick and got the ball into the cup. *Now I*m in trouble,* he told the caddie.
*Why?*
*I don*t know what club to use to get it out.*






Two aliens landed their ship on a golf course and watched a young man golfing. First he hit it into the high grass, mumbling and cursing he retrieved his ball. Then he hit it into the sand bunker shouting curse words he retrieved the ball. Next he hit a perfect hole in one, then the first alien said to the second, "Uh-oh cover your ears he's going to be really mad now"!




Travis and McGee met over a beer in the local pub. After a while the subject of sports came up. Travis asked McGee, "Do you play golf?" "Sure," said McGee, "I play well enough to know why they call it 'golf'." Puzzled, Travis asks, "Why do they call it 'golf'?"
"Because," replied McGee, "that's the only 4-letter word left!!"




A guy to a friend: *After three sets golf clubs and ten years of lessons, I am finally getting some fun out of golf. I quit.*






After hitting his 7th ball into the water on the 4th hole, a father turns to his son and says, "It takes a lot of ball to play golf the way I do."



Two men were talking about golf. One of them said, "I shoot in the 70's." The other replied, "That's great!" The first one said, "Yeah, if it gets any cooler than that, I go to the clubhouse."




The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into few trees, then proceeded to hit across the fairway into some other woods. Finally, after banging away several more times, he proceeded to hit into a sand trap. All the while, he*d noticed that the club pro had been watching. *What club should I use now?* he asked the pro.
*I don*t know,* the pro replied. *What game are you playing?*






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