Kid Jokes

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments
with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "Honor thy Father and thy Mother," she asked, "is there a
commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family)
answered,"Thou shall not kill."




Little Jimmy's mother was serving prunes for dessert, but little Jimmy didn't like prunes one little bit! He grumbled and complained and absolutely refused to eat them. Mother was very cross and told Jimmy that God would be very angry if he didn't eat his prunes. Still he wouldn't eat them, so in desperation, mother sent him to his room. Later in the evening a fierce thunderstorm blew up. There was much thunder and lightning. Feeling somewhat sorry for little Jimmy and thinking that he might be afraid of the storm, mother went up to his room. When she opened the door, Jimmy was kneeling looking out the window. Mother heard him say, "Gee whiz, God, all this just for two measly prunes?"




A mother carefully explained to her young daughter how children were created. She used the expression *carrying a child* instead of *pregnant,* but the girl seemed satisfied.
Sometime later, a terrible fire broke out in the neighborhood, and the girl stood by watching. Here is how she described the scene to her parents: *There was this big fire, and a fireman ran into the house, and when he came out, he was pregnant.*






A preacher was walking down the street when he notices a little boy trying to ring the doorbell but it's just out of his reach. he watches his efforts for some time and walks over to press the the bell. After he pressed it he leveled down to the boy and asked' "Now what?" to which the boy turned and shouted, "NOW WE RUN!!"




A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit. Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon." Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying, "Uh-oh ... I know what you've been doing."




Little Emily was complaining to her mother that her stomach hurt. Her mother replied, *That*s because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it." The next day, the pastor was over at Emily's family's house for lunch. He mentioned having his head hurt, to which Emily immediately replied, "That's because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it."






A man and his son walk into a shoe store when the sales man asks, "How can I help you?" The man says he has a dinner to go to and is looking for the right type of shoes. The salesman asks if he is looking for dress shoes, the little boy pipes up and says," but my dad doesn*t wear dresses."



Son: Where are the Himalayas?
Father: If you'd put things away, you'd know where to find them.




A little boy knocks at the door and tells the owner that something of his had found its way into her garage, and he wanted it back. The homeowner opened the garage and noticed two additions; a baseball and broken window sporting a baseball-sized hole.
*How do you suppose this ball got in here?* she asked the child. Taking one look at the ball, one look at the window, and one look at the homeowner, the little boy exclaimed, *Wow lady! I must have thrown it right through that hole!*






More jokes of Kid Jokes Home Page