Signs Jokes

On the outside flap of the sign, it reads: The kitchen is close today on account of illness.
Inside flap: I'm sick of cooking!




Notice on the bulletin board at the wrestling arena: *There will be a rehearsal for tonight*s bout.*




Sign in a Police Station: It takes about 3500 bolts to put a car together; but only one nut to scatter it all over the road.






A sign posted in a Dentist's office said:
"Please be nice to our dentists. They have fillings too."




Sign seen in a veterinarian*s office:
The doctor is in. Sit. Stay.




Sign on a door: "WARNING: Use door for entering and exiting only!"





* Martha Stewart doesn't live here!!
* I'm creative; you can't expect me to be neat, too!
* Ring Bell for Maid Service. If no answer, do it yourself!
* You may touch the dust in this house, but please don't write in it!
* If you write in the dust, please don't date it!
* I would cook dinner, but I can't find the can opener!
* I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.
* If you don't like my standards of cooking, lower your standards.
* A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.
* Help keep the kitchen clean - eat out.
* Countless numbers of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.
* My house was clean last week; too bad you missed it!




An airline ticker office in Copenhagen reminds you:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS




A sign at Budapest*s Zoo requests:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS.
IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY






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