Entertainment Jokes

A sadist and a masochist were locked in a room together.
In a very short while the masochist began to freak out, begging "Hit me, hit me!* To which the sadist replied, *No"

It was a stormy night. A guy was driving in some mountains and his car broke down. He stopped it by a tree and walked down the highway looking for help. A headlight started to approach him from behind. He turned back and noticed a car coming forth very slowly. He walked up to it, opened the door, and sat on the passenger's seat. Then he suddenly notices that there was no driver, but the car was moving!
Before the guy could decide what to do, a sharp turn appeared a few meters before the car and it seemed that the car was going to go off the cliff. The guy trembled in fright, but a pale hand came in from the open window and turned the steering wheel! When the car finished turning around the curve, the hand withdrew. Every time there was a turn, the same hand would come in and guide the wheels of the car to safety.
The guy could not believe all this. As soon as he saw the lights of some rest stop by the road he jumped off the car and ran into a bar, pale, wet, trembling, and telling everybody that he had a most creepy, supernatural experience.
Then two young men dripping in mud came into the bar. One saw the guy and said, "Hey, that's the stupid fellow that got in our car while were pushing."

*I*d like some really tight jeans.*
*Certainly, sir. Will you walk this way?*
*If they*re as tight as yours I*ll probably have to.*

A man looking for love sent his picture to the Lonely Hearts Club. The reply came back, *We are not that lonely.*

What goes up and never comes down?
Your age
1 egg takes 5 minutes to boil. How long does 10 eggs take to boil? The same 5 minutes.
How many times does a tailor have to cut 100 yards of cloth to get 100 equal pieces?
99 times. You don*t cut the last piece, it is already there
What side of the teacup is the handle on?
I really don't know the answer
Which is heavier? 1 pound of hay or 1pound of metal. Which is heavier? They both weigh a pound
Peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. A peck of pickled peppers, Peter piper picked. If Peter piper picked a peck of pickled peckers, how many peckers did Peter piper picked? How many Ps are there in THAT? None...H...A...T.....there are NO P's in the word THAT
What has 100 eyes and cannot see?
A potato
Two Indians standing on a bridge. One is the father of the other ones son. What is the relation between the two Indians?
Mother and Father
What has NO legs and CAN run?

Banta's son: Dad there is some one at the door to collect donations for a swimming pool.
Banta: Give him a glass of water.

Your mama is sooo fat when she swam in the Atlantic Ocean for 2 minutes, Europe claimed her as a country.

The reading material at the barbershop consisted entirely of murder stores, mysteries, thrillers, and ghost tales.
When Peter asked the barber if he wanted to terrify his customers he replied.
*No Peter. These books make the customers* hair stand up and then it becomes
easier to trim and cut.*

Hey, cabby! How much to take me to the station?
"Five bucks, sir."
"And how much for my suitcase?"
"No charge for the suitcase, sir."
"Okay. Take the case and I'll walk."

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