Little Johnny Jokes

A schoolteacher was trying to teach her six-year old class students how to say the pledge of allegiance to the flag. The schoolteacher said, O.K. children begin by putting your hand over your little heart and repeat with me, I pledge allegiance to the HOLD IT! HOLD IT! Johnny, why is your hand over your butt cheek instead of your heart? Johnny relied! I can*t. Teacher asks, why not? Well you see, when my ant comes over to pick me up and pats my bottom and says, BLESS YOUR LITTLE HEART!!!!!!

At school one morning the teacher asked little Johnny what he had for breakfast. Little Johnny said, well, on my way to school I come cross this Apple tree, so I climbed up there and started eating apples. I guess I eat about six, said little Johnny. No, said the teacher, it*s ate! Little Johnny said well it could've been eight I don't remember.

Little Jonny was assigned a job for the choir on Christmas his job was when the choir sang *and the Angel lit the candle* he was to come out and light the candle. So before the service on Christmas Eve they had a practice. So the choir got to the part and sang *and the Angel lit the candle* and there was no Jonny so they sang it a bit louder thinking he didn't hear them and still no Jonny so they sang it even louder and finally Jonny came out and sang; And the cat peed on the matches!

Little Johnny comes downstairs crying. His mother asked, *What*s the matter now?*
*Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with hammer,* said little Johnny through his tears. *That*s not so serious,* soothed his mother. *I know you are upset, but a big boy like you shouldn*t cry at something like that. Why didn*t you just laugh?
*I did!* sobbed Johnny.

Little Johnny *why is your homework in your Dads writing?* the teacher asks.
*I used his pen,* he replied.

A teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his 1 to 10 well
"Yes! Of course! My pop taught me...even more than 10"
"Good. What comes after three?*
"Four," answers the boy.
"What comes after six?"
"Very good," says the teacher. "Your did a good job. what comes after...lets say ten?"
"A jack"

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an "F" in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6.'"
"But that's right!" The father replied.
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What the heck's the stupid difference?" asked the father.
"That's what I said!"

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