Rude Jokes

Men*s brains are like prison system: not enough cells per man.

Mrs. Kinsey was one of those women with a natural curiosity. She had to know everything about everything. *How is it,* she asked the dentist one day, *that such little hole in my tooth feels so big to my tongue?* *Well,* said the dentist, *you know how a woman*s tongue exaggerates.*

A man who was born with no arms wished to seek employment. Fearing nobody would want to hire him with his obvious disability, he thought he'd answer a help wanted sign he saw posted at his church. He rang the bell at the rectory and when the pastor opened the door he was moved with pity. He asked, "What can I do for you, my son?" The man said I've come to answer your help wanted ad. The pastor became concerned and said that ad is for a bell ringer. He stammered that he didn't think he'd be able to handle the job. The man pleaded and said won't you give me a chance so I can show you what I'm capable of? The pastor relented and hired him. The time came when the church bell had to be rung. The man made his way under the bell, took a running start and threw his body against the bell which resulted in a booming "BONNGGGG" as soon as the vibrations subsided, he took another running start and threw his body into the other side of the bell with the expected result of "BONNNGG" . . . and so it went. Now our armless friend was at the job for several months to the delight of the pastor. One day the guy was running late and in his haste he ran up to the belfry and got his running leap at the bell without first getting under the bell. As he ran right off the side of the tower he screamed. Everyone from within the church filed out and just stared. Finally somebody said "poor fellow, does anybody knows who he is?" To which came the answer from someone in the back . . . "I don't know his name, but his face sure rings a bell."

I just bought 500 sadam t-shirts, they're a bit tight around the neck nut, but they hang well!

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer
PUPILS: A teacher.

With high-definition TV everything looks bigger and wider. Kind of like going to your 25th high school reunion

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